A response for anyone wondering where I've been.

Hi.

I'm aware that a a number of people have sent me messages or left comments asking when my next story is going to be, when they are going to see a regular character again, or when there is going to be a continuation to a half-finished series. I apologise that I haven't responded to any of them, I'm flattered by the interest and this isn't directed at any one person as many people have contacted me. I don't wish to ignore any single person's queries but I've been struggling with things a lot this summer, life is becoming tough and unfortunately other than the occasional comment I've left on a very small number of inflation works I've seen, the very idea of engaging with the inflation community just feels totally overwhelming. It has taken me a long time even to build up the strength and presence of mind to write this note.

I just wanted everyone to know that. I feel really bad for the amount of people that have felt ignored by me over the previous few months, and if I'm honest, I never expected to draw this much interest from people that I would have to fear letting people down. I'm sorry if I have done.

I know I make have spoken on occasion of 'works in progress' but I have to admit now that no progress has been made, or will be made on any further works, possibly for quite a while.

I never actually did requests so if and when I do feel ready to resume work it will be entirely at my own pace. I know this will just cause people to contact me and say they don't mind if I work in my own time, but I'm sorry, I won't be able to handle the weight of expectation even if you try your best to remove it from my shoulders. Also, it really only works if it's something I want to to, I just can't motivate myself at all to realise other people's fantasies.

For a couple of months I felt I could use inflation art as a therapeutic tool; which is why there was some stuff from me early on in the summer after a very long hiatus. I had a couple of things that motivated me for a while, but sadly all motivation is now gone. I had a muse and I no longer do and am sadly missing her. It isn't just that loss, but it came at a very delicate time for me. I feel very isolated and have had a number of anxiety attacks over the last few months. I have my own health to think of and need to address those concerns before I even think about getting back to creating stories and drawings.

Having a muse really did transform my attitude towards inflation, someone who I just felt my desires were totally in tune with, not just a fantasy buddy but a real person with real feelings who I thought I had a connection with. I don't know what I did wrong, but she is no longer around. As I said before, losing her isn't in itself the cause of all this, but it did come at a difficult time when I was reaching out for human connections and support. For a while back then it did seem like I was going to reawaken from my slumber, this coincided with withdrawal of medication which, while emotionally difficult at first, released me from its vice-like grip to life again. Now though I no longer have any reason to carry on and must push on alone until I get better.

Thank you for your understanding, I'm OK... physically I'm in good health, mentally I'm lucid and rational and emotionally I'm tender and intense but improving. It will be a long road and I appreciate any understanding I can get.

Thank you all.

Carnatic.